I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize