Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
