when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
