we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
