her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The power of my boobs compel you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
