We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
