Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
