Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I understand Curling. That high.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
