i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
