Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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