perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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