you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
