My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
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