I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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