My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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