Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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