How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
