My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize