yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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