You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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