Sponge bath it is.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
