I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
