I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
