i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
