we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
