I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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