You can't special order awesome
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize