In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
