phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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