I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize