I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
