She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
God, I missed his penis.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
