if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
