you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
