Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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