Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize