i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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