Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
