he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
