I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
