I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It was confusing and full of hummus
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
