We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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