Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
