I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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