Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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