She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
