I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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