After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize