What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
