Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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