Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize