I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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