i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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