I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
