i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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