yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
