There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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