Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize