is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
