this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
