The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
