he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
