if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
