Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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