My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
