Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
