we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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