Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
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