Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
